Let’s Talk About… Grace & Shame
One of the most profound awakenings occurs when we recognize our shame for what it is: An enormous wet blanket that leaves us feeling cold, heavy, empty and alone . We start to over-perform, hide, pretend, lie, fool and isolate. Shame lies directly to our souls, accusing us of never being enough or worthy of love. Frederick Buechner, author of Telling Secrets, says, “The original, shimmering self gets buried so deep that most of us end up hardly living out of it at all. Instead we live out all the other selves, which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the world’s weather.” God tells us to put away these falsehoods (Ephesians 4:25) and receive what only He can offer us – Truth.
There is an enemy that tries to kill, steal, and destroy what we were originally intended for. Every human being has a moment to choose: To choose God’s way, the original design for our heart’s intent, or to choose our own way and listen to the slow drip of a leaky faucet. Eventually, that slow drip will drive us crazy and drown us.
Shame says, “I am bad.” Guilt says, “What I have done is bad.” God says all of us fall short and make bad choices, but we are “good” because we are made in His image (Genesis 1:31). Look around. I am not sure any of us can justify ourselves for long before realizing we have selfish or impure thoughts, feelings or actions. This is what the Bible calls “sin.” Our culture feels great disdain over this word, but distinctly identifies the gap between God’s righteousness and our failure to be righteous. This is where Jesus comes in. The Bible clearly says that the punishment for sin is death. And yet, God was not willing to part ways with His creation. The result – he made a specific way for us to remain in relationship with Him through the cross of Jesus Christ.
And then grace. What is so amazing about the Christian faith is this – grace. Jesus did it all for us, through God’s unbelievable mercy and kindness. The “undeserved favor” is grace. God loves us so much; he has gone to desperate measures to make sure we have every chance to reunite with Him and experience His ways. His good ways are just that. Our primary job then, is to open our hearts and receive His invitation into a relationship.
Everyone is on a spiritual journey. When we encounter God’s GRACE, we do not want to turn back. Grace allows us to root our identity in what God says about us. Grace separates us from our behaviors (which are not always good). When we do this, there is no more need for the “shame” voices because we know our identity is rooted in His love and not in our choices. We move from being a “sinner” to a “saint,” all because of Jesus. It might sound too good to be true, but the reality is that all God wants is our hearts. He will grow the rest of His nature as we learn to trust Him. He wants all of us…our mind, body, soul and relationships.
Following Jesus does change everything and it also comes at the cost of handing over our own personal agendas. However, His ways lead us into a radical adventure where we get to partner alongside a greater purpose. The gospel, or the good news, flips our ideals upside down so that when we encounter the God who loves us, nothing else comes close.
Wherever you are on the spiritual journey toward Grace, know that God is pursuing you. Look around and you will see that He has always been pursuing you. The fact that you are considering a Courageous Girls group or are in a group right now shows He is ever-present and wants you to see yourself as He fully sees you – loved, accepted, significant and beautiful. Who we are is never defined by what we “do” as Christians, but by who we belong to – our Creator. This profound, but simple message, is hard to understand or to fully accept. You are not alone if you are struggling with the voices of shame. We need each other to help free us from these messages and to actually experience love that reminds us we are loved, known, and courageous…mess and all. Through the vulnerable practice of trusting God and others in our Courageous Groups, we begin to see God’s power made perfect in all our weaknesses (1 Corinthians 12:9-10) and we no longer need to isolate or hide. Grace reminds us that we can come as we are and begin to heal through relationships.
